No Regrets Mun

This year's Easter camp was well, awesome. Not sure how to explain it but the past 3 days to me were just so real. Like it was meant to be. This is what life is about. Seeking God, worship, sharing and celebrating life.

What I love and at the same time feel annoyed about God is that He loves revealing things to me little by little. This time He revealed my gift of tongues. Honestly, I've been wanting to know how to speak in tongues for a long time now. What I didn't know was that I already had it in me. All I had to do was say, "GIVE IT TO ME!" (not out loud of course).

I always thought that when the day came that I was able to speak in tongues, it would be a teary epiphany. Surprise surprise. No tears. No sad emo music. No drama. Just a, "Oh, hey I'm speaking in tongues. This sounds weird." haha no joke but yea, thanks God. Allow the Holy Spirit to continue leading me as I worship you.





















If there is one thing that I took away from this camp was "To seize the moment!" It's funny how during the drive down to Philip Island, Ps Tim talked about doing the things we want to do while we're still young because before we know it, we'll be old, married and with kids (hopefully). And not just Ps Tim, Winston and the 2 guest speakers said the same thing!

Seizing the moment huh?

Looking back, there are times when I wish I could have done this and that. Regret? Maybe. Disappointment? Yea. And right now there are things that I keep telling myself, "I can do it next time." But will there be a next time? I guess it would really suck not being able to do what you want to do before it's too late.

Seizing the moment huh?

What's holding me back? What's holding you back? Doubt. Fear. Pride. Self-consciousness. I can relate to all that but are they reason enough to hold us back? One prayer that I prayed during this camp was, "To let go, if that is God's will."

If fear is holding me back, I'll let it go.
If uncertainty is holding me back, I'll let it go.
If unforgiveness is holding me back, I'll let it go.
If self-consciousness is holding me back, I'll let it go.

Even when I'm typing this down, there's doubt and fear but I'm gonna take this step of faith. No matter how little I understand, it's more than enough for me.

This is step number six. haha hmmm I've probably taken more than that so I'll stop counting.

I'm taking this step. I'm gonna walk the extra mile. I'm gonna GO the Extra Mile!












~ A real man never backs down from his word ~

So March Has Happened

Wow, it's been a month since I've been back in Melbourne and so much has happened. Where should I start? Where should I start.

Second year of uni. Meh. Most of my assignments are due after Easter break so it's definitely gonna be a busy period. So far so good.

Joined a new housechurch this year. It's always great meeting new people and getting to know others within the community. Being in a female-dominant cell group is a privilege. One that I will not abuse. Really looking forward to journeying with these guys. Good things are definitely gonna happen!

Salsa classes on Wednesday together with Doreen and the team which mainly consist of Arrow students. I believe what Life* Expedition is doing for the Arrow kids is awesome. I too am privilege to be a part of this venture. Besides, I get to mingle and dance like a madman. Speaking of dance, I finally joined Melbourne Uni's Flare Dance. Looking forward to being part of this team and maybe take part in it's production!

Birthdays! I love birthdays. There's always something about it that makes me happy. So far we've celebrated Grace's, Aaron's, and Greg's birthday plus Winston's which I chose not to attend. Afterall, it's just Wince.

Last year Krystal talked to me about getting a mentor to guide me in spiritual matters and after time spent praying she recommended Aun. And yea, I've been a mentee to Aun for a month now. It's great talking to Aun. Every time I get so caught up in doing things by myself, Aun always reminds me how what I'm doing always relates to God or how God is able to work from what I do. It's great having someone whom I can chat with. Nothing else but really just chat. Thanks, Aun!

For the past three weeks, I've been working together with the Life* TV crew promoting Easter Camp. And we have finally reaped the fruits of our labour. This year there was an overwhelming response for Easter Camp. I might be exaggerating but it was nevertheless a positive response. Easter Camp's gonna be at Philip Island and it's gonna be AWESOME! Because of the fellowship, location, activities and that I'll be playing the drums for all the sessions.

And finally, The Macca's Incident!




































































Just because Winston asked me to put the pictures up.


~ Happy Easter everyone! ~

Summer Cell

As promised, here's a post about "some things from last summer".

Last summer I attempted to lead a housechurch/cell group thingy which consisted of a bunch of misfits and a jon. For me, it was quite an accomplishment. I didn't think that we would be able to last 6 sessions without losing interest so yea, I'm thankful to God.

Honestly, I think that everyone has the urge to talk about spiritual stuff. But, they never had the opportunity to do so because of circumstances. For example, it's not exactly the best conversation to have while pummeling your virtual characters in Street Fighter or when you're out bowling with your friends. I mean can you imagine that?

*punch* *punch* *kick* *punch*
Jon: Hadouken!
Julian: Hey did you know God formed the Earth out of chaos and darkness?
Jon: Well prepare to experience chaos and darkness!

*Akuma executed "Wrath of the Raging Demon"*

*random flashes of light and sfx*

K.O!!!!!!

Yu: OHHHH! You just got served, yo!
Lee: lol.

Yea..... it's just not gonna work.

Although it was only the 6 of us or 4 of us most of the time, I believe that there was a bond which was forged among us. One which allows us to be open with one another and even talk about things like Creation, Life & Death, the 4Cs, SIN, Satan and God. These friends are people which I've known for years but this is the 1st time that I've actually seen some of them in such a vulnerable state. What more, this was probably the first time I've talked about 'religion' with them. But for some reason I found it more comforting then awkward. Though I don't think the same could be said for them!

FYI, we actually did Life* 101 material. So yea, a guy like me leading a discussion about 101, it was hard but yea, I compromised. I'm really lucky to have a talkative bunch. All I had to do was pop a question and we could have a discussion for 15 minutes with minimum involvement from my part. Ahaha just gave away one of my secret techniques!

One thing I've probably learn from this venture is courage. You may have the best materials or heaps of bible knowledge but if you don't have the courage to share it or to create a space that allows us to do so, it'll just be a waste. So I reckon it's best to go out there and share how much or even how little you know. Afterall, we were called to spread the gospel not keep it to ourselves.

So what's next? Right now I'm trying my best to keep this little group I have connected through the internet. Not sure how effective it'll be in the long run but we'll see. Wish me luck!























On a different note, rejoice! The weekend is here =)


~ I think I'll call it summer cell ~

Anniversary

3 weeks into uni and I think I've pretty much settled down and back into the routine of reading manga, Youtubing and blogging. Besides that, I've been busy with dance on Wednesday nights, housechurch on Thursday nights and Life* TV for Sundays. Just for the record I actually do study a little.




























What I was making in the last post

Had the opportunity to play the drums for church today. I've said it before but I'll say it again, "Nothing beats worshiping and praising God side-by-side with a bunch of friends!" And a talented bunch for that matter. Love it!

I love new years as much as I dread them. This means re-learning how to study while at the same time learning more complex subjects. But on the plus side, we get to meet new friends and catch-up with the old ones. With new years also comes new year resolutions! For every year, I would usually have some sort of resolution eg. 2009 - To be more open.

However, this year it actually took me awhile to think of one. I was pretty impressed with two of my friends who managed to make a list of new year's resolutions. That motivated me to sit on it for a couple of days. After hours of playing Persona 3, watching How I Met Your Mother and bible study(sort of), these this is the result.

My resolution for 2010 is *drumroll*

To help people.

As lame, general or plain it may sound, that is what I want to do. And please don't misinterpret this as "being somebody's bitch" but an act born out of pure-heartedness and good intentions. haha I'm not that nice but I WILL try.

There are still some things from last summer that I would like to blog about, alas Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) awaits. Till next time.


~ Happy 1st Anniversary to Corner of Memories ~

Interlude

As you could probably tell from the pic above, I've been pretty busy of late. Hopefully I would be able to update properly soon enough. In the meantime, go do your homework or read a book.


~ 21st! hint hint ~

Tweeting vs Blogging

Haaaa.......

After a 2 months absence from blogging, I'm at a loss for words. So instead, here's a twitter formatted post.

BurnMyBread

...had a quiet summer back home catching up with friends/family, eating, gaming and sharing Life* and loved it!

...is expanding his music playlist by listening to John Mayer & Leona Lewis.

...thinks this ad is just awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0

...can't believe that Final Fantasy XIII is coming out tmr and he still hasn't gotten a PS3.

...survived the 06/03/10 Melbourne Hail Storm.

...is looking for a part-time job. MyCube?

...loves uni life. Bring on the rebuttal!

...wants to work, dance, jam, serve and express his creativity. I might be stretching myself a little too thin here.

...misses Street Fighter IV!!!!!! @jon2512chua @aronlee

...is MERRY to see familiar faces in Melbourne once again.

...is uncertain about what's in store but is hoping for an awesome year! YA-HA!


~ hmmmm does anyone visit here anymore? oh wells ~

Daddy's Home

~ where were we ~

Going Home

~ Fitting isn't it? Ending with the song that started it all. ~

Part 2 - Growing Up

Before you know it, a year has gone by. So much has happened over these past couple of months it's hard to believe that 2009 is coming to an end. And pretty quickly too.

This year has been a year of discovering for me. I've been trying to put the pieces together. Trying to understand who I really was and maybe find my "identity". That's why I challenged myself to face myself. To be more open and to be more honest towards my own feelings.

I've also been trying to understand this relationship I have with a God and how that fits in with where I am right now. It's hard enough trying to understand relationships between family and friends. But put God into the picture, it's like opening up a whole new can of worms.

So, how I am going with all of that?

Firstly, I'm no longer worry about trying to find my identity. Worrying about the kind of people I should associate with, my hairstyle, my taste in music and whether certain things makes me feel sad or happy. Instead, I think I've learnt to love myself.

To accept my flaws.
To forgive my shortcomings.
To respect my life.
To love myself.

As disturbing as it sounds, that was the only way I was able to put it into words. Behaviour may change. So will appearance and even beliefs. And what I'm left with is character. Character drives ones behaviour which in turn affects appearance. Beliefs are then portray through one's character. People may have weird behaviours, strange appearances and different beliefs but it's his/her character that define who they really are.

That's just my opinion but I guess "figuring out who I really am" is no longer an issue to me. Character is who I am. Character is my identity. And if that changes, let's hope that it's for the best. Therefore, I will protect my character.

May I be strong.

I may not have been open and honest with those around me but I definitely learnt to be more open and honest with myself. "May my openess and honesty expand beyond this blog," is what I would like to say, but I don't think I'm ready just yet. Guess I should take it one step at a time.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

I've yet to come close to understanding God, seeing the big picture, feeling the holy spirit and all that, but I think I learnt to trust in Him more. To not beat myself up so much because of sin. Having the faith to believe in something/someone intangible and even learning to let go of something important that I'm sooo grateful for. Ahhhh, God. You're really something aren't you?

Continue watching over me.

Finally. The million dollar question. Have I grown at all this year?




"Just a little," I guess.

Spiritual, mentally, emotionally and even physically.

Just a little.

Some questions have been answered. Some I reckon will never be. But it's all part of this journey of faith. Like I said, it's been a year of discovering not discovery. But I'm having fun.

The future of this blog? Well I haven't actually put much thought into it but I'm thinking.....blue. Who knows? We're just gonna have to wait and find out!

Thank you, to all of you who've shared this journey with me. Your presence has definitely made a difference in my life. For better or for worse, I'll leave that for you to decide. It's been a great year. You've been a great audience. Goodbye friends! Goodbye strangers! Goodbye stalkers! I wish you all well.

Tata! =)


~ .....for now ~

Memories of 2009

Ahhhh.....2009. This year has been a good year. Hmmm maybe good is an understatement. This year have been probably the best year of my life thus far!! True story.

I totally enjoyed my first year in uni. My first year in Melbourne. My first concert. My first song. My first academic excellence. My first blog! And many others which might not be "firsts" but definitely blog worthy.

Without further ado,

1) Mr. A-Z concert!

2) Learnt to Breakdance.

3) Shared a song that God has given me. This year has definitely been a step of faith for me. (Will be covered in the next post.)

4) Fell in love with cookies.

5) 3HDs. Count them 1, 2, 3. Thanks for all the study times at Gloria Jeans!

6) Discovered the wonders of fish tofu.

7) Whenever I feel sad, I would stop feeling sad and have wicked wings instead. Wicked wings makes me awesome!

8) Went busking and earned $60 in one night.

9) Met a Boo.

10) Became a hobo for 40 hours.






















11) Watching MasterChef on Nine.

12) Yellow was this year's colour.

13) DOTA!!!! A bunch of us actually bought memberships to this CC we frequent to.

14) Bought this cool Wii remote candy-dispenser!

15) Became an emo.

16) Eating ice-cream with my favourite people.

17) Spent a full semester with a faulty keyboard.

18) Turned Nineteen! Ahhhh, my final year as a teenager.

















19) Bro's Graduation.

2009. It's been great but it's not over yet!


~ 2-in-1 special!! On to the next post! ~

Twilight: New Moon

CHINA version!




























~ more tougher than edward, more tastier than jacob ~

The Ego Has Landed

After 3 years 7 months and 9 days of waiting, Final Fantasy XIII is finally out......in Japan. It's so exciting that you have to say it twice. It's so exciting! Mann, can't wait for the English version or to get a PS3 for that matter. To celebrate, a bunch of random funny japanese videogame commercials.

Translation of the video above.
Teacher： "Though it is sudden, I will take a break tomorrow ."
Student： "Why will you take a break?"
Teacher: (I've waited for this time for three years)

I know how he feels.









And I saved the best for last. Love the Metal Gear Solid commercials!






~ pata pata pata pon! ~

Lively Aren't We?

Ahhhhh slack. Too slack. Been meaning to start working on a couple of projects but unfortunately, I've been really occupied. Ceh. I probably shouldn't be watching too many J-dramas. But you know what? I don't even feel bad about at it all!! J-dramas are cool!! So don't judge me until you've watched them yourselves. Hmph!

Ok, besides fanboying at home, lets see what else I've been up to. Been catching up with a couple of dudes before they headed home eg. Winston, Chris, Greg and errr Winston....... yea I only got so many friends. Got a problem with that?

Congrats on graduating Greg!! I must say, you looked pretty good in your robe thingy. All the best for your future endeavours!

L-R: Myself, Greg, Chris

Last Friday, went over to Winston's place for steamboat and played weeeeeeee!~ I meant wii~ till the wee hours. Also taught him how to breakdance a bit. Haha there's something about imparting knowledge to someone else. When they are able to pull off a move or step, there's this sense of accomplishment. BUT! Mada mada dane Winston. You still got lots more to work on.

Keep working on your Indian Step and Six-step. These are moves you'll be doing for life! Remember to bounce with your Indian Step and remember to switch with your Six-step. It doesn't hurt to Six-step in the opposite direction. Same for your shoulder and baby freeze too. Both left and right sides. If you need bboy music, gimme a shout. Remember, it's a dance not gym class.

Went on a spontaneous trip to Dandenong with Leland, Jon Loo and Jeanette after church on Sunday.

Miss Marples, pic taken last year.

Couldn't get into Miss Marples so we went to Brother Jon's instead. I reckon Miss Marples scones are better but the apple pie at Brother Jon's was nice. After that, we hung out and played this random board game at Leland's.

Presenting.........

Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot

It's a really random, humourous, board game if I may say. It's too hard to describe but basically, who ever has the "Magic Carrot" at the end of each round, wins. Oh, and this game involves a lot of luck.

8 more days left in Melbourne! Hope that I'll be able to get what ever it is that I want to do done before then. And that's it from me. How are you guys spending your holidays?

Ah, before I forget. Family's here in Melbourne.


~ Joy ~

It was a Dark and Stormy Night.....

Making it's way through the streets, a lone figure, frail and tiny, barely visible due to the sheer magnitude of rainfall, came to a stop. The wind had taken him by surprise. He struggled to maintain his balance as the wind came so suddenly. But as quickly as it came, it vanished only to appear again, unexpected. Like a lion pouncing upon an unsuspecting prey.

"What a drag," grunted the fellow as he planted his feet firmly to the ground, dragging them along.

A faint smile fell upon his lips at the realization of the pun that he just made. But it didn't last long. The wind blew it away. The warmth of his overcoat pale in comparison to coldness of the wind. But it was all that he had to shield himself from the elements.

"Well, as long as it keeps me dry," he thought to himself, optimistically.

Slowly but steadily he battled through the piercing raindrops and bone-chilling wind. Questioning the seasons ever so often. It was summer yet it was winter. Wet and cold. Not the warm and dry summer he was hoping for.

"It must be Global Warming," he mused, nodding in agreement.

However, he was a man on a mission. No wind nor rain would be able to hinder him. He had only one goal and one goal only. But to achieve it, he must move forward. Forward against the elements and towards the light. Yes, it was vague but he was able to make out the colours from the distance. Crimson red and shimmering white.

"So we meet again-" he exclaimed, "My Kentucky Fried Friend."

Since it was lonely eating alone, he decided to return home to comfort himself as well as his stomach. Talk about being anti-climatic, this brings us to the end of our tale of valor, hope, bad grammar, terrible use of tenses and poor sentence structure.

KON!~ ( because ending with "the end" is just cliche )

It's raining in Melbourne, I still love KFC and I may be a little bored. Just a little. But there should be enough Japanese dramas to sustain me through these times. Hmmm I might blog about it. Japanese dramas, that is.


~ I would still take 12 wicked wings over an ultimate burger meal ~

Lorne with the Laws

Went on a road trip to Lorne last weekend together with the Laws. No, not my in-laws but Chris Law and family (mum & lil bro). It was a pretty nice get-away and change of pace. Definitely better than staying at home playing Dota! XD

Lorne, one of the towns along The Great Ocean Road.

One of the few wineries we stopped by.

Our drive up to Lorne was cloudy but luckily, it didn't rain. And we got to take in and enjoy the scenery! I've always been a fan of the beach and ocean. Smelling in that sea-water scent and listening to the crashing of the waves. Kinda makes me a romantic person, no? Haha of course not!

One of the lookout points along the coast.

Had lunch at Oakdene. Pretty cool place.

After dinner on Saturday, Chris and I stayed up watching old music videos for almost four hours. Straight. Oh mann, it was super nostalgic. From Backstreet Boys to Britney Spears, The Cranberries, ABBA and Macarena. Good times, good times.
















Mantra Resort, home for the night.

Woohoo! I made an amazing discovery during this trip. Everyone knows that when you breathe in, you'll float on water, right? But guess what happens when you breathe out? You'll sink!! Bet you didn't know that one did you? Had fun sinking in the pool. Dug a hole in the beach the next day and that's about it.

Beach!!!!!!!

More photos can be viewed on facebook. Click on more photos.

The other one.

Hahaha did I get you? Never mind.

Thanks once again to the Laws for a great time!

My favourite shot from the entire trip!

I just realized that I only got a little bit over two weeks left in Melbourne. Sis is coming over next week and so is mum and dad. Woah, time sure flies. Doesn't really feel that long since I left home for Melbourne but it's been a while. Finally getting a little excited about going home since Melbourne getting kinda lonely. Well, lets enjoy the remaining time I have left in Melbourne, shall we?

Greetings from Melbourne wherever you guys are. Stay safe and always remember to brush your teeth before going to sleep. Peace.


~ hmmm I reckon everyone should have at least one song by Christina Aguilera in their playlist ~

The Missy Project

Just finished reading "The Shack" and woahhh it's such an amazing story or testimony, if I may call it that. My head is still overload with too much information, most of them which I am yet to completely understand.


This story is about a man who met God in a shack. Literally.

Ok, I'm not really good at a writing book reviews so I won't attempt to do so now. And I wouldn't want to give the plot away either. But if that one-liner is able to perk your interest about this book, I must be a pretty darn good book reviewer you must most definitely read this book!

Whether you are Christian or not, this is one book I would recommend to everyone. This book may seem more to a fantastic side. But whether it's true or not, it's up to you to believe. I mean it's not everyday you read about someone meeting up with God face-to-face what more spending an entire weekend with Him.

The way that this book portrays God is no doubt very controversial, but manages to reveal a glimpse of God's nature which is not very present in our culture. Which is not that of a bearded old man and white for that matter. But 3 separate entities/persons (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) and still one in unity, if that makes sense.

I really sympathize with Mack, the main character of the story, after all that he's been through. It's like you just want to give that dude a hug. But I'm glad that God intervene in his life. With that said, you could say I very much believe that his story is true no matter how unbelievable it seems.

The themes, topics and questions raised in this book are probably things that most of us struggle with and still question. And it is these that makes this book very real to me. I would call these questions more than themes because most of them were brought out during conversations.

Allow me to list down the questions that are discussed in this book:

1) Freedom
2) Limitations
3) Relationships ( Father, spirit, son / God & humans )
4) Creation
5) Knowledge of Good & Evil
6) Holy Spirit
7) Judgment
8) Church
9) Trusting in God
10) How God makes good out of Bad
11) Strongholds
12) Evil vs Love
13) Choices / Freewill
14) What Jesus accomplished by dying on the cross
15) Emotions
16) Relationship vs Rules
17) Purpose of the 10 commandments
18) God is a Verb vs Noun
19) Responsibilities / Expectations
20) Priorities
21) Forgiveness

Yup, there sure are lots of questions asked in this book but I might have missed some along the way. Looking at the list above, they are still so many things that I'm yet to fully comprehend. sigh. "Men! Such idiots sometimes." But with time, with years, with experience and with God, I may one day understand all of this more.

Any of the questions that you've been struggling with? Then this may just be the book for you. Be ready to be inspired, humoured and touched.


Visit the main website at:



~ Spoiler: the Holy Spirit is Asian! ~

Obtained x2 Potions.......wait this isn't a game.

Welcome to Corner Of Memories' Special Edition Guide on

" How to make a Boo-X!! "

Materials:
Cardboard box x2 ( size is up to you but one must be small enough to fit into the other )
2mm box-board x2
3mm box-board x1 ( Boo-X's lid )
Door brackets

Equipment:
ruler
penknife
cutting mat
PVA glue
Super glue
Duct tape
Marker pens

What else?

Love, hard work, dedication, creativity, perseverance and loads of free time is a plus,

not forgetting an Ian.

Now you are ready to start making your Boo-X!!

Good luck!

What!?


You weren't expecting me to explain how step by step....

were you?


That's boring.


~ obtained x2 Smith's Chips, hp recovered ~

Kaisen Chirashi Set

With a name like that, it's the only reason you need for ordering this set.

Pickled vegetables
Remember kids, to always eat your greens!

Chilled Tofu
Forgot to take a picture but you should know what a tofu looks like.

Chawanmushi
Basically a steamed egg custard. Just like the one mum always cook back home with minced meat. Why do you think it's called Chawanmushi? Cause it's served in a "cawan" and it's mushy! Actually googled it and it literally means "tea cup steam".

The main dish. Assorted sashimi with rice.
I love sashimi! Felt kinda bad eating it though. Cause it just looks soo good!

Udon
The noodles were nice and chewy! mmhmm~

Green Tea Ice-cream
If you like green tea and ice-cream, I don't see any problem here. You get to choose between two flavours. The other being vanilla.

By the way, this is one of the set lunches served at Shoya. It's a bit pricey ($24.80 - $38pp) but it's definitely cheaper than the dinner menu ($80 -$150pp).

http://www.shoya.com.au/

~ gochiso sama deshita ~

Sword Fights, Explosions, Giant Robots and a Girl named Lightning

Seriously, how long are they gonna continue teasing us with trailer after trailer. Seems like this is the "final" Final Fantasy XIII trailer. Woots!~ It's looks pretty damn awesome. Especially the ending where it became all Star Wars / Gundam like.

Minute 3:49 is just pure gold.





I want a PS3 for Christmas! Then again, the english version's only coming out next year.


~ Julian Tay, shameless fanboy ~

If it's Raining, bring an Umbrella

I'm not sure why but I've been feeling disappointed and dishearten these past few days. Must have been because I lost the video competition I wanted so badly to win or that McDonalds haven't gotten back to me about a part-time job yet. It sucks when you put so much effort into accomplishing something only to be bested or rejected.

I'm the kind of guy who loves winning. To be the best in what I do and what I can do. To be Number One! That's why I'm always putting a lot of effort into the things I do. Unfortunately, I never had and still don't have what it takes to stand at the top. I have always been the underdog. The least expected to win when it comes to studies, sports and even relationships. Looking back now, it's actually true.

However, I've always thought of myself as being a winner. Wanna know why? Cause the person I've always been competing with was, myself. I was the person who calls the shots. So as long as I've met my own expectations, I'll be happy. The problem with this is, well there's three problems actually:

1) Your standards may be too low for others. I aim for a 70 in an exam, mum's pissed off at why I couldn't get 80 plus. Team assignment. Your teammates aren't to happy with your work. They trash it and blame you when the results ain't satisfactory.

2) You set your standards to high. You aim to win 1st prize in a video competition. You finish 2nd.

3) You will always be subjected to comparison. Live with it.

Number 1 and 3 involves the opinion of others but number 2 is something more personal. Here's a secret about myself. I'm a dream believer. I believe in dreaming BIG and pursuing the unconventional. Alas, the harsh hands of reality has shocked me awake as if to say, "Wake up boy, stop being stupid." But when did we stop dreaming dreams? When did I stop dreaming dreams? HA! Is this what they call growing up? If so, I refuse to do so. I want to continue dreaming and honestly I want these dreams to become reality.

BUT........ there will always be the butt but. ( This is the part where everybody sighs )

But (again), I don't think we should be afraid of setting our standards high. Yes, we may and we will be disappointed but (yet again) it's like a game of rock-paper-scissors. You're bound to win at least once. If you don't, you could always nuke your opponents.




ps. Sorry for the show of weakness. I guess it's true when they say Christian men are more emotional. Hmmm maybe that's just me. But I guess it's alright once in a while. By the way, this have nothing to do with the amount of Japanese drama I've been watching recently. True story.


~ I've got lots more to work on but I'm still holding on ~

Emotion Sickness

What’s on my mind right now? A lot of things and yet at the same time, nothing. Things are moving so quickly I’m afraid I can’t keep up. I’ve never been this afraid before. Afraid of the constant change in time and times. I feel that I’m about to lose something very important to me. My premonition never fails me. It’s like a sixth sense telling me to get ready.

It’s coming Julian.

But this time it's different. I don't think I'm strong enough to face it. I'm scared. I'm not even in the mood to joke. This time I'm not even brave enough to say, "Bring it!".

When did this all started?
When did I begin to doubt?
When did I stop holding on?

Onto hope.
Onto future.
Onto Him.

The same power that conquered the grave lives in me.
Your love that rescued the Earth lives in me.

How can you be so nice God?
It pains me. It freakin' pains me.
I know that you've forgiven me.
But still, it hurts. What does?
I don't know.

This isn’t the time for me to be arrogant.
I should stop kidding myself.
I should stop pretending.
I’m not all that strong.

I need help.






I need help.


~ it's raining ~

Video Games and Religion

Read an interesting article on Yahoo today.

http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/the-bible-is-coming-to-xbox-360/1372979

Video games and religion have a pretty rocky history together, but where most see discord, one developer sees the light.

B&H Publishing Group has announced plans to release "Bible Navigator X" for the Xbox 360 in early December. Based on the Holman Christian Standard Bible, the downloadable tome will feature both the Old and New Testaments in addition to helpful search tools. Aaron Linne, B&H Publishing Group's executive producer of digital marketing, explained the unlikely pairing.

"This application will bring the Bible into people's living rooms and onto their televisions in a completely new and innovative way," he said in a press release. "The Xbox isn't just secular entertainment anymore. We can use technology that other people developed to study Scriptures through a new medium. Some people are just more comfortable with a controller in their hands than a book."

Oddly, the 360 version of The Good Book will be found in the 'Indie Games' section -- because what's more indie than Christianity? -- and will run a cool 400 Microsoft Points, or about $5.

~ Christianity is indie? ~

Part 1 - Gearing Up

Mann, ever since uni ended I've been pretty lazy to blog. But when I do blog, they all end up going into the drafts folder, incomplete. Looking back at all the half-written posts, my train of thoughts is a big mess. Funny that I'm saying this now, but it's time to get organized. It's time to refocus.

Mentoring sessions. Yes, I've mention this before but never really went into depth about it. So today I'll be sharing about "Shockwave" the movement started by the dynamic-duo, Homer and Vivienne, which I believe has impacted and challenged those who attended.

When Krystal first emailed about this mentoring thing, I wasn't really clear about it or how it would run. All I knew was that it's about mentoring (very duhh I know) and I that could use this. Use it for what? At that time, only for myself. I mean it's always good to have head knowledge about certain things, yea?

And so I stuck to it. Never missing a single session even at the expense of sleep and fun.

The materials which were taught were really practical and hands-on but were balance out with definitions, commandments and the likes. For example, qualities of a mentor, the different kinds of mentors and the purpose of mentoring.

The definition of mentoring, as given by Vivienne, is:
A relational experience in which a person empowers another by giving them God-given resources.

Btw, the purpose of "Shockwave" is to build up mentors within a Christian community. So for those of you who think Christianity is a load of bull, please do bear with me.

I won't go into detail about the commandments and qualities cause if you wanna know, you can attend "Shockwave" next time! What I really want to talk about is what I've learnt and the experience that I've...experienced during the past 10 sessions.

Half-way through "Shockwave", we had the tables turned on us. Instead of just having Homer, Vivienne and Krystal facilitating the sessions, we had the opportunity to facilitate one session each, together with 2 other fellow mentees. This is what Homer dub "reverse mentoring". We weren't given anything specific to share about but because of that, we managed to learn more about one another. Our struggles, passion and journey thus far.

I shared about four things and I gave each one of them a title:

1) Past, present, future - my journey thus far
2) Corner of Memories - Pursuit of my true self
3) Non-existent love story - relationship conference 09
4) ~PEEP SHOW~ my relationship with God.

Initially, I planned to just share one or two of them but as I shared, I realized that all of them were linked together. So I ended up sharing about them all. Yes, I did share about this blog and for the other topics, if you interested, we could chat about them. Another time.

With this "reverse mentoring" it became more than just a mentoring session. It wasn't just a method used to train us how to mentor but with every sharing, there is always something new to be learn, new inspirations and new revelations.

Speaking of revelations, I had a few revealed to me during this time. Some which has been on the back of my mind but has yet to come to past. Some unexpected and demanding. Some intriguing and yet to be realized.

Simple revelations.

Which will be revealed next time! Look forward to part 2!


~ you knew it was coming, right? ~

09.03.2010

Finally, the US release date for Final Fantasy XIII is out. Accompanied with this overly epic video.

Was kinda dumbfounded when they announced that Leona Lewis will be performing the theme for the English version with her own song "My Hands".



What do you guys think?


~ woohoo, chocobo ~

Indifference

Elisa asked me an interesting question today.

"Julian. Are you happy?"

A simple question really. But is it?

Stunned and caught a little off guard, my only response was, "Well, I'm not sad."

Most of the time happiness is something which is determine by the circumstances in our life at that certain moment.

But what would it be like to be happy just because? Hmm that sentence structure is a little off but what would it be like to be genuinely happy just because........you're happy.

Think. Think. Think.

Well, I'm pretty happy when I'm breakdancing or when I'm having a happy meal but that's influenced by "the circumstances of life". Isn't it?

Think. Think. Think.

This kind of deep thinking is too much for me to handle (and it's making me hungry). Lets just get back to the heart of the question.

"Julian. Are you happy?"

Wait minute. Why would she ask me such a question all of a sudden? Did I look pissed off, sad or something? It's probably just my normal face anyways.

Think. Think. Think.

Ok, that's enough thinking for one night. Back to the question.

"Julian. Are you happy?"





I'm.......indifferent.

~ never thought I would use that word again ~

THIS IS IT

I wanna watch! I wanna watch! I wanna watch! I wanna watch! I wanna watch! I wanna watch!


~ first and last exam tomorrow ~

Faith

Read this post with a steady pace and with the music. If timed carefully, you will finish reading everything by the time the music ends.

Ok, you can hit play now.


Father God.
You who are so awesome and powerful.
I come before you today, humbled before your presence.
Free me Lord, of my anxieties and worries.
Allow me to come before you whole-heartedly, in a child-like manner.
Hungry and thirsty for you once again.
Let me not be blinded by my own flesh but allow my spiritual eyes and ears to see and hear you.
To worship you to the fullest without holding back.
Forgive me for my sins.
I surrender my anger and bitterness to you.

This week has been the most annoying one I had in a long time.
The thing that really breaks my heart and pisses me off the most is when family fights.
I fought with my brother.
I hate it.
What am I to do?
He suffers from the older brother syndrome ("I know everything else better than you plus you're an idiot").
I suffer from younger brother syndrome (rebellious).
*sigh*
The worst kind of combination if I ever see one.
I don't know what to do about this God.
I can only surrender this to you.
I have trouble making peace with myself what more with others.
With you God, I am strong.
So why do I feel so weak?
I'm stuck again.
I'm getting a little tired.
A little lazy.
Damn.
I am gonna go down like this?
Ceh! weak.

Come on Jules!
You're stronger than that.
You know that.
You have so much ahead of you.
You are flowing with so many brilliant thoughts and ideas about the future.
Fun, life-bringing, awesome ideas.
They may be challenging but you know you can do it.
I can do it.
There will definitely be change.
There will always be change.
By now I should be used to it.
I take pride in my ability to adapt to change.
Tough? Yes.
But I will not be disheartened, discouraged.
I'm gonna go strong.
Stronger than ever before.
God I need you.
And I'm gonna need you more and more.
Train me Lord. Discipline me Lord.
Help me reach my fullest potential.
I know that through you it's possible.
Even in the dark and troubled times.
That is why I'm still singing songs of joy and praise.
Thank you God. Thank you God.
I love you.


Your child,
Julian


~ pray friends, sometime that's all you need ~