I've been disconnected. Desponded. Wallowing in self-pity, refusing to pull myself out of a ditch I've been digging deeper and deeper. Oh, how misery loves its company. This... isn't right. What happened to living life? A life filled with faith, hope, and love?
Things that's been bogging me down.
Numero Uno. I can't bring myself to apply for jobs that I couldn't care less about. Can you imagine going for an interview and having the interviewer ask you,"So, why did you apply for this job?" Uhh... family obligations. Being the bigger man. I need money.
Numero Duo. Post graduation life is very uncertain at the moment. I really want to take 6 months off just to shoot videos, maybe try my luck in finding work at some sort of media company. Though I'll be happy to just volunteer at Meld. But am I really allowed such a luxury? Wouldn't that be selfish?
Numero Tres. I'm broken-hearted. As silly as it may be, it's about time I admit it to myself. I guess these things take time.
It's about time I reconnect(ed?). Reconcile. It's a conscious effort but it's better than being stuck in the ditch. To the Expedition community, thanks for helping me realise that. Some of you might be at the same place as I am. Uncertain. Discontented. Angered.
And that's ok.
God is slowly but surely doing His good work in us.
Lemme pray.
God, I stand before you today, arms open wide. With nothing to offer but worship. I pray for my brothers and sisters who are crying out for justice. For healing, reconciliation, peace, and clarity. Hear our cries today Lord. Come and invade our lives today, break down our walls and breathe new life into us again. Teach us to be like Job. To be able to take the posture of worship even when everything around us comes crashing down. We know you're good. We've seen your goodness. Today, I choose to believe in that goodness. I choose life. In your mighty name. Amen.
~ that took a while but we're just getting started. ~
