If I don't do this now, I'll probably won't have any other free time to sit down, align my thoughts and type them out into coherent words.
Yes, the 40 days of prayer and fasting officially started on the 24th September and is currently on Day 11. I'm not sure if this is a movement that's being done anywhere else but I reckon Life* Expedition's been doing it for awhile now. And since the 40 days fast didn't happen last year, this is my first time doing it.
So what am I fasting from? Manga chapters, anime and Youtube.
For the entire year so far but mainly this semester, I've been caught up in too many activities till the point that I feel restless, worn-out and moody. Mind you that this has been going on for almost 4-5 months now.
AND IT'S NOT GOOD!!
Fasting from these entertainments, let's codename them 'MAY', is probably a good way of reducing the noises and distractions in my life. YouTube is the main culprit as I'm always on it, listening to tunes and watching clip after clip for hours on end!
So how am I coping? I've been alright so far. Sometimes it's so natural for me to click on every YouTube link but now I'm more cautious and aware of it. I was quite surprise that I decided to fast from manga and anime as well, seeing that some of them are at the most exciting part of the story at the moment. Only 30 more days to go!
It's good that I'm not tempted by MAY, however, I still find it hard to sit down and read a passage. Or even spend a good 5 minutes in silence before God (Lying on bed and praying till you fall asleep doesn't count!). With assignments to submit and exams coming up very, very soon, this is something that I'm gonna need to get me through the next 30 days. The peace and strength that God provides through our cries and prayer.
Bestow your favor onto me God.So what am I fasting for?Right now I am more intentional about what I'm fasting for rather than what I'm fasting from. Here's why; the story begins a few days before the 1st day of the fast. It was a Monday night and 3 friends were gathered under one roof. This isn't your ordinary social gathering, instead it was a study party. A party to study. Many of you are probably thinking, "What!? A study party? Boring..." but what is about to take place next will be life-changing and extraordinary.
God's timing is apparently never wrong and always at the right moment. The annoying thing is that, it happens when we least expect it to. But what's beautiful about it, is that it wasn't by chance or coincidence but was predestine by a certain Someone.
What was suppose to be a study session turned into a sharing session. During that time, stories from the heart were shared and I had the privilege of well, listening. After the sharing, a couple of things were made clear to me.
The issue of unforgiveness is eating me inside. Unforgiveness towards myself and my brother.
I though I had handled this issue a long time ago by apparently I haven't. This remaining 30 days is gonna be a time where I'll face myself once again and come in terms with the fact that, "There's nothing wrong with me." Even with all my failures and past mistakes,
"There is nothing wrong with me."Concerning my bro, I'm working on it. In case you're lost, click
here for related post. You haven't been reading my blog? You should. Cause it's getting better.... ok, probably not!
One more thing, after a dear friend of mine shared a story, my heart became lighter as though a heavy burden has been lifted. And in all honesty, I think it has. But where do I go from here is up to me to decide. I wish to think that I've already decided upon that but it's gonna be a bit sad =( Nevertheless, questions have been clarified and now it's time for me to move on. Where to? Somewhere only God knows.
Crypt. Yes. Personal. Oh so very. Ask me about it. I just might share!
So to answer the question,
I am fasting for reconciliation with myself and bro.30 more days. Hmm I could always go beyond that anyways.
Thanks guys! What a breakthrough it was for all of us. That night will definitely be a piece of memory I'll hold onto for a long time.

Love,
Jules
~ Project Clockwise up next! ~