One Step at a Time

And we're one week into the 40 day fast. Hmm it really isn't a fast but more of a 40-day-trial-period-of-building-disciplines-that-will-hopefully-be-carried-over-after-the-40-days. Yea, let's call it that. Can't say I've been diligently doing my devotions but 6 out of 8 days is decent (just sayin' to make myself feel better). There're so many things that I hope for and the feeling of wanting all of them makes me feel greedy. I want breakthroughs, salvation, discipline and direction. Is that too much to ask for? 

Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

I love catching up with friends over coffee. It's nice. As simple an adjective 'nice' is, that's what it is - nice. I reckon everyone yearns for honest conversations & these "coffee-sessions" is sorta my way of having just that. Blessed and grateful to be able to do so. 

Feeling fidgety and excited but at the same time uncertain and dreadful. I should learn to focus on one thing at a time. Ok, I'm way over my 30 minutes cap. Think blogging time should be exempted as well. We shall chat soon. 

~ anticipating ~

This City

~ can't wait for Soulpunk! ~

40 Day Trial Period

Looks like things are finally falling into place. Deadlines have been etched, errands have been ran and goals have been set. Now comes the fun part. Execution. 

The 40 day fast starts tmr. Two things that I'll be doing: i) daily devotion on the books of Tim ii) 30 minutes of internet usage daily (minus uni/work related requirements). 

Reading the bible is a discipline which I'm lacking, so this will definitely do me some good. The internet is my greatest source of distraction. Putting a cap on how much time I spend on facebook, twitter, youtube, etc. will help me to focus and create space for more productive and meaningful work.  Hopefully by the end of it, I'll be able to carry these disciplines along with me beyond the 40 days. 

Was talking to abi last night about our relationship with God. And it saddens me how I always revert back to feeling so undeserving of God. Always feeling like I'm never good enough. I wish I had everything together - awesome prayer life, clear direction in life and even having the strength to solve all my problems on my own. 

"Well if you could do that, you wouldn't need God would you?"

Chew on that for a bit.

Yes, we are undeserving of God's love but it's given to us, FOR FREE! After all, "tt's the message of grace what, it can't be earned". I know all of this but I guess it's time for it to sink from here to here *gesture from head to heart*.

God I thank you for your love and grace. We are so broken and undeserving yet you redeem us. Teach me God to trust you whole-heartedly, to love you more than my desires and my brothers and sisters. I pray for discipline during these 40 days, that I'll be led and driven by the spirit. Teach me once again to engage, embrace and empower as I journey together with my friends. I surrender my fears and uncertainties to you. I know you're here with me. Light the way. Amen.

~  exciting times are here ~

Stage 4: Lover

Currently reading The Way of the Wild Heart. This is a book about how boy - and a man - becomes a man. The author brings forth the idea of 6 different stages a man goes through during a masculine journey. 

Boyhood to Cowboy to Warrior to Lover to King to Sage.

John emphasizes again and again that each stage cannot be pin to an exact age. 

"They overlap, and there are aspects of each stage in every other." (John Eldredge 2006, pg. 11)

"Now, let me say again that these stages are all present to some degree at any period in a man's life, and they all come together to make a man whole and holy man." (John Eldredge 2006, pg. 14)

But for today, let's talk about stage 4: Lover.

Two sentences which struck a chord with me. Lemme break it down and discuss both quotes separately.

"A Lover comes to offer his strength to a woman, not to get it from her." (John Eldredge 2006, pg. 13)

I always thought that I would be able to find strength in a woman. That having a woman would give me a reason to fight - a drive, a mission. So you can see how this quote totally goes against what I believe in. But surely a woman would prefer a man, a warrior with a clear mission, a guy "who've got it together" ie. not me. Surely, no woman would want to be with a man struggling to "get his life together", to share his burdens and put up with his uncertainties. If she did, sorry but I think you're a fool.

(What do the sisters in the house think? Drop me a comment or let me know personally!)

And because of that, I'm always struggling with the thought of never being good enough. As ready as I think I may be, it's never good enough. Hopefully I'll find more clarity once I've read through the book. A little confidence would help too.

Moving on.

"Service for God is overshadowed by intimacy with God." (John Eldredge 2006, pg. 13)

So the time of the lover is not foremost about the woman. It's also about loving God. Notice how each post is connected to one another? God's speaking but sometimes I'm just so lazy and distracted. Anyways - Service vs Intimacy. Simple to grasp, hard to do. As we all know God wants a relationship with us. To father us, to take our spiritual journey to a whole new level. And for that, we need to love God, just because.    

The 40 day fast starts next week. This time around we're focusing more on building strong disciplines that would (hopefully) last over the 40 day period. The last 40 day fast brought about lots of breakthroughs. Really excited to see what's gonna happen this time. 

Gonna be great doing this together with the community! 

~ lots of thoughts about the future. hmmm. ~

Love God

Alrighty! I think my thoughts have finally been processed (after 2 long months). Let's see how I well I can articulate this. So things have been dry, spiritually. I've been waiting and waiting for God to speak, move, do something. But it's been quiet, stagnant, empty. Till yesterday - when I had a chat with Mel. 

"Love God."

As simple as it was, it was all that I needed to hear. I don't love God enough. Oh if only loving God was as easy as loving beautiful songs and fast food takeouts. Why is it so hard? Maybe I'm distracted or just downright lazy. I think I'm both. God wants a relationship with us and yes, that means investing time, words, and energy. Unfortunately, God and I don't have a low maintenance relationship. Ahh if only. There I go again, being lazy.

Matthew 6:33-34 (NIV)

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I AM SO DISTRACTED. Yes, like typing in caps lock - it's distracting, but it does drive the point home. I digress. See? Distracted. Why am I distracted? Honestly, I very well know the answer(s) to this question. Guess that's something to consider during the 40 day fast. Just two more weeks to go folks!

For now this quiet is ok, yea? 

Be still. Seek God. Love God. 

~ thank you mel! ~

Fanboying... yes it's a word.

I've been listening to Karmin everyday for the past week.

They are good. Nuff said.

And who knew Sara Bareilles would have such an awesome stage presence. Always thought that she would be a sweet, soft-spoken lady. Guess not. Super cool and fun band too.

~ feel like recording something nyaaa ~

Sista's Graduation

@ Perth Convention Centre - 27th Aug 2011

Happy Graduation sis! May this be a stepping stone for you to pursue your interests and reach for greater heights! Currently in Perth, spending time with the family and visiting old but familiar places. Making good use of "30 Hearts". Can't wait to show you guys what I can cook up with this new toy. Yea, I do miss Melbourne. Just a little.

~ mm listening to Sara Bareilles ~

30 Hearts

Life has always been about pleasing my parents. Getting good grades, being a good boy.

Life has always been about pleasing others. Don't talk back, don't ask questions, just do. 

Life was... simple.

When did life become so complicated?

My parents wishes for me to live a happy, comfortable life. 

Which parents wouldn't? 

I would want the same for my children too. 

So what seems to be the problem?

Money. 

And I'm sure that deep down inside, each and every one of us agrees that money = happiness + comfortable life. You need money to feed yourself. You need money to support your family. You need money to socialise. You need money! And you need more of it! But is money really the problem?

When did life become so complicated?

When I stopped getting good grades?
When I stopped being a good boy?
When I began to question?

No.

Life became complicated when I began to yearn for more. 

Surely, there's more to life than pleasing others.

Surely, there's more to life than earning money.

Surely, there's more to life than "getting it right".

I've been caught in between the limbo of chasing my dreams and pleasing my parents for far too long. I have the understanding, I have the willingness - and now the capacity. It's time to take flight. 

I'm gonna please my parents by chasing my dreams. 

How that's gonna work out, I don't know. But some things are worth fighting for. I pray for who ever that's reading this, may you find something worth fighting, crying, breaking the rules for. Cause we deserve it. As much as we deny, shy away from it, we very much deserve to chase our dreams and hope for greater things. Never tell yourself otherwise.

HA! What bold statements. But that's, well.... my revelation. 

21st [Take 2]

Thank you for believing in me. 

For all the encouragements and prayers. 

Thank you for your generous hearts.

For investing into my passions and dreams.

I am truly blessed to have you all in my life.

Thank you.

Love,

Jules

~ holding onto 30 Hearts ~

Celebration

.... rhymes with graduation!

"He does eye things"  - 13th Aug 2011

Ms Bachelor of Arts - 15th Aug 2011

Shout out to Chris Law, Mich Lim, Melissa Wong and Cherie Voon.

Am honoured to celebrate this milestone with you guys. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavours. Cheering you on. Congrats!

~ more celebrations to come ~

Love Wins

Just finished reading Love Wins. Incredible book.

Love Wins talks about Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived. Rob Bell's views on these topics challenges the common belief of the Christian faith. And it's a book riddled with questions.

Questions we fear to ask.
Questions behind the questions.
Questions no one has the right answer to.
Questions we wouldn't otherwise..... question.

This book has garnered tonnes of controversy. But for someone to finally ask these questions out-loud and share his honest views on them, that takes guts. I like this Rob Bell guy. I rather you find out for yourself what's written in this book rather than sharing it here. It's definitely a book worth reading.

With that said, I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone. This book is by no means the answer to life's biggest questions but may it inspired and give you a new perspective on life itself.

__________________________________________________________________________

Now for me to jot down snippets from the book for my own reference:

So when the gospel is diminished to a question of whether or not a person will "get into heaven," that reduces the good news to a ticket, a way to get past the bouncer and into the club.

The good news is better than that. (Rob Bell 2011, p.178)

As Paul writes in Philippians 3,
"Let us live up to what we have already attained." (Rob Bell 2011, p.188)

Forgiveness is unilateral.
God isn't waiting for us to get it together,
to clean up, shape up, get up -
God has already done it. (Rob Bell 2011, p.189)

"It's only when you lose your life that you can find it, Jesus says." (Rob Bell 2011, p.190)

Ahh Matthew 10:39, we meet again.

God's gonna do something.


~ look at me referencing like a good boy. wheee ~

Something's Brewing

Matthew 10: 37-39 (NIV)
37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38 and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I think God's trying to say something.

Been watching the Planetshakers Conference 2011 DVD together with the housechurch and today we were watching Reggie Dabbs' sermon. Interesting how this verse that he brought up resembles what Pastor Tim shared about two weeks back.

God's trying to say something.

I had a funny dream recently. I vaguely remember the setting of the dream. We, a girl I knew and myself, were sitting against a wall, chatting (I think). It was an open area, probably outdoors.

She was holding a knife. 

Just a tiny one, almost pen-sized. As she showed me the knife, she told me, "You're the only one who knows about this knife."

That was when the dream ended and a new one began. I dreamt that YahwehAG had opened a branch in Kuching and that it had four cashiers. Bliss.

I digressed. 

How I interpreted the dream: That girl has what it takes to hurt me. 

God's saying something? Nahh must have dreamt about knives because of all the cooking I've been doing of late. Or maybe it's just a reference to Alice: Madness Returns. 

Alice's got a knife!

I'll let my dreams be dreams.

~ still processing my thoughts ~

The Words Of A Dying Man

Pastor Tim has been preaching from the book of 2 Timothy for the past month. He appropriately entitled the series "The Words Of A Dying Man" as it was the last letter that Paul wrote before he was beheaded. Poor guy.

A couple of things/questions that I took away, thus far:

Number one - Am I able to love God more than my family, friends, above all else? 

No.

It pains me to say it, but No, I don't think I can. Really? Can you love God more than your mum, your dad, your wife, your MacBookPro or your need for control? Can you love God instead of loving the things He does? What does it mean to love someone/something that isn't tangible, out-of-sight and at times just seems so far away? Can you? How?

Faith.

But how much? 

Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

The Bible knows best.

Number two - Hold On, Guard It, Be Strong, Entrust them with Truth.

Sounds like the most awesome tag-line to a movie. Hence, the movie-esque poster. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything else from that sermon. I should start taking notes again. Before Tim ended the sermon last Sunday, he briefly mentioned the 40 day fast. Too quick! It's amazing how fast the year has gone by. Alas, we can only, and we should, press on. Hmm still finding time to gather my thoughts. It'll come soon enough.

~ time to pick up my slack. ~

Thank You

Keep It Real

The first time I watched Clara perform was 2 years ago at Cafe Crema. Since then, I've become quite a fan. Clara Rhoden is a powerhouse. I love how her vocals are accompanied with equally powerful lyrics. Lyrics which are genuine, honest and real! Clara's music is, at the very core, rock. So for those looking for something heavier or music which doesn't explicitly talk about sex, booze and partying, you might enjoy this album. My favourite songs from this album are "Real Again" and "One More Chance".

"Clara's debut album Keep it Real is a challenge to us all to live unreservedly and wholeheartedly as the people God made us to be." - clararhoden.com (Biography)

Check out her website and listen to her previews here. It's not too late to join the real revolution!

~ in support of melbourne's local music scene ~

21st

I think everyone's expecting a long-winded, warm-felt post - but for now, a photo will do. Thanks to Kel for organising and everyone who came along for the free pizzas. It was fun. We should do this again.

~ today begins the first day of the rest of my life ~

New Horizons

Check out the view! It's been three weeks since we moved to the new space. We're settling well but I'm still getting used to the distance. Cycling is no easy feat and the frequency of trams traversing the docks is scarce. But it's all just a matter of getting the timing right and building stronger legs and buttocks! Hmm.. getting the timing right will be much easier (and less painful). 

Uni - I'm loving my 3 day, 13 hour week this semester. To make things sweeter, I have great lecturers and the units are much more stimulating, in contrast to last semester (dry and boring). Currently taking Alternative Animation as a elective. A much needed outlet to explore and expand my artistic side. With all the extra time at hand, I'm planning to make it a habit to revise and keep on top of my uni work. Praying for wisdom to use my time wisely.

I pray for spiritual growth this semester. With all that's been happening, I've finally come to the point where I can say, "yea, this is important and this is what I want". It's no coincidence that I got dragged into a discussion about spiritual growth with Pastor Tim and a few others. Oh, the random things I get into. Love it!

Spiritual growth. Let the adventure begin.

~ anyone lovin' the new header? i know i am! ~

Worship - A Drummer's Perspective

Had the chance to share last Sunday. Have you guys felt the same way before? Yes? No? Maybe? I don't care? Hopefully this sharing will inspire and challenge you.

Today I'll be talking about worship - worship from a prespective of a drummer.

What is worship?

Why do we worship?

How is playing the drums worship?

Is worship just 2 fast songs, 3 slow ones?

Is worship how fast or how loud u can play the drums?

Is worship coming to church early to practice for Sunday mornings?

If worship is just doing that, I reckon I do worship very well.

I've been serving in the worship team for the past 2.5 years. Each time I'm scheduled to play, it's definitely something worth getting excited about. I'm excited to play the drums. I'm excited to play together with friends. I'm excited to try out that new song. I'm excited to worship.

Two Sundays ago, I reached a listening point. This was after playing the drums for 8 Sundays in a row.

"I'm tired".

Tired meaning i was lazy, i wasn't excited, i wasn't worshipping. This is where things get dangerous, so listen up!

When u begin to worry more about how good u sound, rather than being sensitive to the spirit, beware. When u begin to think that u're just putting on a *show*, beware. And when u become good enough to rock up on stage and just wing it, beware. *Cause u're gonna end up tired*

So it was good that I realised this sooner than later. And when i did, i had to ask myself, "Jules, why do u play the drums?" and ultimately, "How is playing the drums worship?" I find it easier to worship by singing cause u're using words. But with the drums, all u're using is *beats*

I remember Sam telling me once. Everytime he hits the 'snare', he pictures hitting the devil in the face. Pretty cool right? And that got me thinking about what it meant to worship drumming.

This is what i got.

I think that by playing the drums i'm ushering in the holy spirit. Pushing back the demons that encages us. Lifting up the spirits of those who are downcasted with worries and regrets. Creating a space for people to lift up their hands and proclaim:

"You are stronger, you are stronger"

"The same power that conquered the grave lives in me!"

And if i can do all that just by hitting a few drums, i will gladly use this talent to glorify God.

Today i want to encourage and challenge you guys to find out for urself what it means to worship a God we call father, saviour, the almighty. Doesn't matter how u express it or if u're up on stage or not, ask urself, "Why do u worship?"

If you're not sure where to start, just picture hitting the devil in the face. Thanks for listening and don't get tired.

Love,

Jules

~ discovering worship in the norm ~

See You Soon. Young.

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling right now. Excited? Not really. Nostalgic? Maybe. Worried? A little. Results are coming out next Monday. I've yet to receive any email from school saying that I've failed. So that's a good sign yea? It's funny how easily my faith waver over such matters. I've worked the best I could, now all I've gotta do is have a little faith. Pray with me, I need it.

BIG changes up ahead! We're packing our bags and moving out once again. New beginning, new neighbourhood. But as always, I'll adapt - we'll adapt. It's been fun playing house with Winston. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Thanks for all the meals, late night conversations and the lulz. Be good. God's watching you.

~ off to the docks ~

My Thoughts You Can't Decode

Had the privilege of filming and editing JoshuaPuiMusic new music video. Was having difficulty synching the video with the music because of a fatal mistake. I forgot to have the music playing while we were filming. Lyrics were wrong and the tempo was off but that's where the magic of editing comes in. All in all, I think it turned out ok. Lesson learnt - the next one will be better!

~ Woohoo! Holiday well spent. ~

Little Ewan

Date: 28/06/11 - 26hrs old

First time holding a new-born child. Very precious. Congrats to Kenny and Krystal! Eammon's now a big bro. Can't wait to see these boys all grown up. Though I reckon the same can't be said for most parents.

I pray for divine protection over baby Ewan. That he will grow up to be a man after God's heart. I pray for the Loke family. That they will continue to grow from strength to strength in your grace and mercy. I thank you for their guidance and may they continue to inspire and speak love into our community. Amen!~

~ imma need to work on my baby handling skillz ~