I Am

Yesterday's service helped me to realized a few things.

All my life I've been living in the shadow of my brother.
In the shadow of his achievements,
In the shadow of his accomplishments,
In the shadow of his successes.

Was I jealous? envious?

No. I admire my brother and I still do.

Strange, even though I wasn't jealous, I felt bitter.

My brother, whether he knows it or not, has been a major influence in my life. Since young I've been striving to be just like him. Listening to the same music, having the same wardrobe, sharing the same opinions. As I grew older, I began to develop my own identity and opinions. However, I was still living in his shadow.

I was still "Kelvin Tay's brother".

I was just "Kelvin Tay's brother".

And you know what the funny thing is?

I am "Kelvin Tay's brother".

I guess that's why I felt so bitter. It's because my identity has been "overshadowed" by someone else and has been reduced to something I find to be lesser.

Despite all that I have said, I believe that God has created each and everyone of us to be unique and special. He has blessed us with different talents and characteristics. He has given all of us a name of our own.

So for those of you who are jealous,
So for those of you who feel bitter,
So for those of you who are able to related with me,
lemme tell you a little secret.

You are special.

and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. God loves you the way you are and that's all that matters.

heheh, pretty heavy stuff no?

There are still some other things that I've come to realized but I'll have to save that for a later time.

Well then, I guess this is step number two!

Hi, I'm Julian


and I'm Kel's bro.

~ I surrender this bitterness to you God. AMEN! ~